Lincoln’s Deep Thoughts
If we could hear Lincoln think, it might go something like this:
“Hey- hey what’s that you got? A newspaper? Gimme that. Gimme gimme. Let me put it in my mouth. What’s that noise? Turn me around. Now. I wonder if I could put that noise in my mouth. Set me down. Hey. Set me down. Wait, what’s that. A button? Wow, buttons. Lemme see. Stop. Lemme see. I can’t..get..it..in..my..mouth. Set me down. Man I wish I could crawl. That dog is hilarious. He’s all hairy and just sitting there. That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Hey. What’s that on your arm? That shiny thing. Gimme that. Let me put it in my mouth. Bet it tastes good. Hey set me down. Hey what are those? Buttons. Wow, buttons. Gimme your face. I can try and fit your entire head in my mouth. Gimme your eye. I wish I could put my own mouth in my mouth. What’s that? Gimme gimme. An extension cord. Lemme put that in my mouth. Man I like to grunt. Hey turn around. Turn around. What’s that? Let me see that. That’s a table. Lemme put it in my mouth. Hold on. Gimme that chair. Lemme eat it. Hey, who are you? You’re funny. Move. What’s that behind you. Ooh, a light switch. Gimme that. Lemme eat it. Squealing’s fun. And grunting. Who’s that? That’s my mom. I love my mom. Come here. Let me hug you, I mean pinch you, I mean hug you, I mean eat your face. Milk. Milk. Gimme milk now. Milk is good. Hey what’s that…